Bullying happens in every age group. It happens in almost every setting. Psychologically it is a form of projection. If one is subconsciously feeling the effects of oppression from others or from negative self-thoughts they may say and do things to others to cause those same feelings. Passive people can be bullies too, but often they hide their actions - doing their deeds in more sneaky ways while they wear a friendly face. People who have good insight - who are aware of their emotions - do not tend to be bullies. Children can often bully others because there is more chance that they feel oppressed by over control or negativity by caregivers or of general family dysfunction that can lead the child to feel unimportant. Kids have less capacity to be able to identify their negative feelings. They will bully in an unconscious attempt to relate to their inner feelings in the reactions of others.
"Blame"
Acrylic, 2006
This painting is a depiction of domestic bullying: emotional abuse. Often the abuser will blame his/her partner for their own shortcomings, making it their fault for his/her inner discomfort. The energy of the bully's intention is projected to the figure which is turned away in self-protection. The energy spirals in, muddying the other person's orange (social connection) spirit and she becomes defensive rather than being her true loving self.
The poem below has been written in two parts. I wrote the first part in my late teens, remembering my own childhood experiences with bullying from other kids. I was still not quite over it at the time, continuing to feel separate from and judgmental about others who in my mind had more power than me However I was beginning to recognize my own value and perhaps some of the reason why I was the victim rather than the oppressor in childhood. The second part, written earlier this year, becomes a retrospect of the growth and change that is possible for any individual, and how sometimes our more painful experiences can be turned into our most useful gifts.
She & They
Part 1 (1977)
Taunting, gibing,
flouting, laughing
Snickers in a
group
Arms protrude to
point in sneer
Their victim acts
aloof
She=ll show them. She will, someday
She=ll prove them they were wrong
They saw that she
was different, yes
She never will
belong.
The knowing one
who lives apart
Must find a
different road
And sometimes on
a steeper path
Grows stronger
with the load.
They run upon
their plains of life
To find the
rainbow=s end
Looking for a
gift of gold
On which they can
depend.
They plunge into
their systems
A plodding
elephant trek
In following they
fail to see
Beyond the next one’s
back.
Some stand upon a
pedestal
And get their due
ovation
The crowds, on
seeing them stepping down
Look for the next
sensation.
They peer into their
mirror world
And wail at
growing old
That days are
short, there’s work and pain
So blind amidst
their forest
They cry, AWhat does life mean?@
The stars just twinkle
their mysteries
Between the
boughs of trees.
She wants to
call, AHello down there;
Come climb this
hill with me
I’ll show you
with unburdened eyes
The doorway to
eternity.@
Part 2 (2014)
Her victimhood
has come to pass
She’s shed oppression’s
chains
And moved beyond
the world’s morass
Gained wisdom
from her pain.
She sees the
bright, the dark, the grey
Still watching
from the rim
She sees their
world has gone astray
Their spark grows
dim within
She’s learned she
is no different
Each carries
their own world
And some will
find their way to love
And some will
nurture hurt
She belongs
within her body
For her time upon
the earth
The web of her
connectedness
Supports her
every move
They come to sit
before her
The seekers and
the hurt
They carry pain
from other’s pain
Want out of their
mirror world
She works to help
them find their heart
To fill their
spirit’s need
To see with their
unburdened eyes
The doorway to eternity.
Copyright 1977 (part 1)
Revised 2014 (part 2), Katherine Bird
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